Mockingbird Karma: Eatium Tedium - Dealing With Unhealthy Urges At Work

Work, work, work… blah, blah, blah… More candy, more munchies, more tedium eatium! Hahaha. That’s my new phrase… because I eat in a lame attempt to counteract the incredible boredom and tedium I feel in my job. Tedium Eatium! Ta-Da!

Meanwhile, what am I not learning in this moment? Well, I’m not IN the moment, that’s for sure. (Wait, let me get some M&M’s before I continue.) I struggle to find meaning in my life, in the world… All the while, so busy looking, checking my phone, and so on, that I miss the moments I am in. Maybe it’s nice to just sit at my work desk and lose myself in the music while I crunch the boring little numbers on the screen. You know what, that may be the case, but…

I am SCARED TO DEATH to stop looking and wake up 25 years from now as an old crippled man who’s spent his life working these stupid little numbers while his

Mockingbird Karma: Where Do I Start? Examination Of A Dinner Out.

It has been some days now, and I struggle with an un-quiet mind. My dearest and I had dinner out with a neighbor couple last night. We met at a restaurant. There was wine consumed. I didn’t drink that night. This was a first social engagement with this couple. We had spoken casually while passing on the street with our dog. But nothing more than that so far. Now we’ve broken the ice.

Secretly, a small part of me has always wished I was friendly with all my neighbors. Like you see on TV shows and all that. Or like other people I’ve known have been. My wife, in her lifetime before me, has had those kinds of relationships with her neighbors. But the fact is, for me, I’m just not that kind of neighbor.

But I was sociable last night. I made small talk. We talked about them and so on. I hope it was not written on my face, that I

Mockingbird Karma: Doing The Work, So Many Challenges

Today was a pretty good day, for the most part. I think even just being in the first days of this new website has been good for me. How? Well, because I’m thinking a lot about writing here about my days, I’m more aware of the emotions I’m feeling, the moods I’m experiencing, and the ‘work’ to which I have committed myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I was nowhere near great or perfect today. But I was less of a mess than many days. I still got anxious about the

traffic on my way to work this morning. I still had negative thoughts, and some negative words (gossip), about some people I work with. I felt frustration and depression about an important personal goal/dream that I’ve recently had to put off for a while (indefinitely).

We have a somewhat new dog in our house now, and she’s still a bit of a puppy. So of course, she’s got